This weird feeling...

Woke up rather early today and is surprised that someone messaged me (maybe woke up because of the message). We chatted for awhile and updated each other a bit. When she said meet up soon, I immediately replied okay. But come to think of it, how am I suppose to react when I meet up with her? Always will get this awkward feeling when I meet or saw someone that I don't contact frequently.

Anyway, school is starting real soon, and I haven done anything fruitful. Went to sing K last sunday and notice that I can't ''catch'' the note and key if I sing without vocal. Even if I caught it I still feel wierd to hear my own voice. The K session is okay in general. After singing till closing, we went to eat and headed home from Ang Mo Kio by foot. The rain started to pour as we approached Bishan, to make the story short, reached home at around 0430. This is one of the picture we took when we reached Toa Payoh...

Notice how hight my forehead is... -.-''' Have been unknowningly extending my 'roof', look so alien in this picture. Known all this guys for quite awhile and definitely were having fun hanging out with them. Oh ya, don't try washing hair with body foam ( I know what you're thinking), although it makes the hair soft and a bit of unusual shine, it is almost un-comb-able.

Just join Claire's fan club but is still trying to figure out how to add profile photo and having difficulty with it ah (cause everything is in chinese and I'm not very good at it). Don't really like the design for the sign they done... lol... maybe can do something about it? Hahas...

That's all for now...

Sian...

Have been wanting to blog about the past since last week but my laptop just shut off by itself, maybe it's not good indulging in the past for too long especially when you're free (very free). Went to Pizzahut today for dinner and the service is not up to standard ! But I did enjoy the ambience and the food there. 

Notice that I'm broke once again after been rich since yesterday, lol ! Money just come and go so easily, maybe I have too much time but not enought money to spend. Have been listening to Claire Guo's songs recently (all of them) and is trying to learn those that I haven remember. 

Have the feeling of going M.I.A for awhile, feel that I may need time for myself for now. Got to know my results and as expected, I failed my maths. Maybe I have no talent in that bah... got to re-take the module and hopefully that I will pass this module the next time.

Have been feeling rather contradicting in my heart and I don't know why... The past is like a odour; as time past, the smell just lingers away and become faint or just simply disappear but it is not erased from your memory. As easy as it fade away, it can also struck you in an instant... remember the last time you smell something that's not there? Nevermind if no one understand this, maybe it's too alien for people to get what I truly mean... 

Sleep is what I need now... one last words : If we are not fated... the least I wish is that your life will be smoother and trouble-free. There's only a line difference between believing in yourself and deluding yourself... May strength be on your side...      

Sick...

Well, that's what happened yesterday. Woke up in the afternoon and had a bad stomach, this cause me not to have appetite to eat anything. Sort of been tossing and turning myself in bed till morning and was feeling very cold for some reasons.

When sicked, I always think, "Wouldn't it be good if there's someone around to take care of you?" Someone that can be on my side through good times and bad times, sharing troubles and joy. Somehow, the first thing that come up to my mind is a girlfriend rather than a soulmate, maybe it's something at a sub-conscious level that makes me think this way. Talking about girlfriend... yesterday, my ah ma nagged about having girlfriend again. I think I know who spreaded the rumours ! I didn't say anything as usual and manage to hold my anger. I hate it when people misunderstood me but I don't even bother to explain, no use explaining when they already assume you are in wrong and believe in the words of the spreader.

Went for a jog today, notice my stamina is dropping. Maybe I will jog tomorrow again, all depends on my mood. Tried of playing games and using computer... what else can I do?

Interesting...

A rather interesting day it is, first time went to my friend's house because we are learning how to make snowskin mooncake ! The steps is rather simple and I would say that it is not as difficult as the normal mooncake. Haven tried making mooncake before and I think that it's a good try, hahas, it make my day more interesting and it always good to be around a warm family.

Overall, I would say the mooncake is a success, I make the mooncake with lotus paste whereas my friends uses green tea paste. Now, after learning how to make a mooncake, I'm sort of scare of mooncakes now especially after making 20 plus bite-size mooncake ! Don't think that anyone will try mine, hahas, even if they try, I don't think it will be nice ! Haha ! Anyway, I'll try one tomorrow, if it's nice I will finish it, if not I will just leave it in the fridge and see who is the ''lucky'' one. Hahas.

1st week of holiday is almost coming to an end. Have not really been following with my plan especially the running part ! Will try to go for a run tomorrow if possible. Don't think I will sleep so early, will be typing for quite awhile, taking notes from the tarot book I borrowed ! Ciaos for now...

Numbed?

Went to buy drinks with my friend today at NTUC. After that went to Bishan and eat my favourite laksa. When I was ordering my food, the aunty asked me to help her translate what the indian aunty one. After my food is ready, the aunty said ''又有你的朋友了", then I was like ??? and I turn my head and saw another indian lady, -.-''' Anyway, I've tried to help the aunty once again and manage to settle everything ah.

After eating, when on the journey to Lorong 8 market for my desert, I saw my ex and her bf Hahas... but she never saw me, managed to walk passed her with catching her attention (maybe she is too engrossed in her psp). It's good to see how they have been, living a great life and still as chubby as ever (opps!).

Always had a wish that even after breaking up, we can still be friends. And it's quite a hard thing to do though and this thing need 2 hands to clap. Doesn't feel much already, maybe I transferred my emotions into the songs I sing? or I'm numbed to this? I know that it's very hard to be friends after been lovers and there's definitely quite a number of factors contributing to this.

Anyway, I'm rather happy with the way I am now. Single and carefree, able to do what I want and having freedom (in a certain sense). For now, I don't have the feeling to get into another relationship and I'm looking for a long-term one, one that can last. Hmmm... think I will stop here and continue reading my tarot book... hehe

Changed my blog song to 下雨天 by 南拳妈妈. Went out today but nothing interesting happened. Only bought a toner which cost me $7.90 after an hour stay in Shop & Save. Intially, my purpose was to buy shampoo but I couldn't figure out which one to try, sort of limited by the selection of shampoos available there.

Went home after that, didn't go for run today even though the weather is good. Wonder if I've missed a perfect oppotunity to run. Continued reading "happy introvert" and it sort of bored me and I also started reading about tarot. I've 2 tarot deck and I'm learning it.

Learnt that behind every card their's a story/situation that we can relate to, how each item in the picture form part and parcel of the meaning. One common preception of people is that reverse cards are not good but that's not always the case. Colours also play a part in the interpretion of a card, different colour represents different feeling/emotion.

Will be revising what I read today, maybe writing it in a notebook and hopefully, I can master Tarot within this month. Of course theory is not everything, pratical is the important one. Maybe will be having a few reading to strenghten my knowledge in this.

Most song that I hear has a certain value to me/represent a certain stages in my life. Somehow, I'm able to relate to those songs, making a "video" in my mind and fitting it with the song. I'm numbed by the songs for now, not feeling anything... maybe until my emotions are stirred will I be able feel again...

下雨天 - 南拳妈妈

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你

不敢打给你 我找不到原因

什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉

沉默的场景 做你的代替

陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷 谁和我一样

等不到他的谁 爱上你我总在学会

寂寞的滋味 一个人撑伞

一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜

怎样的我能让你更想念

雨要多大 天要多黑

才能够有你的体贴

其实 没有我你分不清那些

差别 接近还能多一些

别说你会难过 别说你想改变

被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫 谁和我一样

等不到他的谁 爱上你我总在学会

寂寞的滋味 一个人撑伞

一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜

怎样的我能让你更想念

雨要多大 天要多黑

才能够有你的体贴

其实 没有我你分不清那些

彻别 接近还能多一些

别说你会难过 别说你想改变

被爱的人不用道歉

怎样的雨 怎样的夜

怎样的我能让你更想念

雨要多大 天要多黑

才能够有你的体贴

其实 没有我你分不清那些

彻别 接近还能多一些

别说你会难过 别说你想改变

被爱的人不用道歉

Long awaited break...

Yup, that's right, my official break starts today. Went for my maths paper today, I can almost guarantee a fail for maths. Holiday is always good, only if you got something to do during it. Haven take nap in the afternoon and I'm super tired and super sleepy ! A rather fruitful day I would say, met with my sister and nephew and saw my 2nd aunt at lunch. Also felt a lot more relieve to finish my exams (although I know I didn't did as well as I could), anyway who can I blame other then myself for the bad results?

Went to return and borrow some new books about body language, tarot and enneagram, a diagram that differentiate your own personality, 9 classes if I'm not wrong. Think that I'll try to use less of computer and more on my books. Having k-lunch next week ! Quite looking forward to it, have been awhile since I went to K-box. Maybe I can go there to bring back some of the sweet memories there (even though it's not the same outlet). Enough of typing already... my head is starting to spin... Nights people

Can't think...

I'm sort of stuck in my brain, all I feel is my heart beating...

Have been feeling tired recently even with enough sleep, something must be wrong with me again. Went to the library today to return and borrow some books and I noticed that my book is dued by 12 days ! Zzz... anyway, borrowed 4 books, 3 of them is about personality and the other one is titled '' the happy introvert''. Done the reading for the personality books and maybe returning the book tomorrow.

'' The happy introvert'' is the more interesting book I've borrowed, as far as I've read, it talks about the difference between introvert and extrovert, how differently introvert and extrovert react in situation and how they compromise one another. Think that I'll finish reading the book within this week.

My maths paper is coming and I haven started my revision ! Somehow I got a feeling that even if I did well enough to pass this paper, overall, I will still fail. But I still believe that miracle may happen to me like it used to. Maybe I should stay at home and study for tomorrow?

A month has passed and my life is still so meaningless, think that I haven found my true purpose yet. Been clueless and not having a purpose is not a very good feeling... it sort of eat away a portion of me and I know that I'm not leading the life I should be. Planning to add meditation into my list of to-do list and maybe yoga if possible, going to get in touch with myself and find the path that's truly meant for me...