Purpose...

Days went by... and I feel that I'm like a robot, programmed to perform the same task every week... I believe that in one point of anyone's life, they will think about their purpose in life... Whether is it a short-term purpose or a long-term one... Years have passed and I have not found mine... I'm beginning to think that I will never find my purpose in life...

In a blink of the eyes, this year is coming to an end... And I would ask myself... Have I done anything meaningful this year? More often than not, I can't think of anything which I deem meaningful. People had asked me... what you want to be in the future? Even though it seems like an easy question, I don't have the answer to it... All I want is to lead a peaceful and normal life... away from the the buzzling city and it seems pretty hard to fulfil this wish of mine.

All I can do now is go with the flow...

Mood swings...

That's what I'm having this few days... Feel so tired... Sometimes I wonder if the choices I made is the right one.. Although the past cannot be changed, but the regrets linger around... School is just like any other day, plain and tiring.

Sometimes, I myself wonder why I let my hair grow... the past is just like my hair... with each brand new day, my hair gets longer and a part of the past fade away with each drop of the hair... but never will it vanish completely...

Been looking for my motivation and my purpose but I just can't seems to find it.. No longer am I the same as I was before... and never will I be the same again... Some events that happen in life will alter the path you take... but only you, yourself can make a change for better or for worst...

Once you get caught in the cycle, it's hard to get out of it... it's may seems like all the efforts and struggles you make is useless... but never give up, for He who presevere will enjoy the fruit of success... Been closing myself to others for some reasons... just don't feel like talking. Still have reports and stuff to do... but doesn't have the mood for work... maybe I'll do it in the morning...

That's for now... time to bathe... And maybe sleep.

Those days...

Time truly flies... And like what my friend said, you are one year closer to death. Interesting way to put it, but it makes me think of what I've wanted to accomplish and generally, what have I done in my life. Have been tired for these few days, maybe due to the lack of sleep.

Anyway, went home after school, drenched, and got myself a nap before meeting my friends (jie mei) for dinner. Went to pizza hut and tried the tom yum flavour or something and it's not really tasty compared to the others. Went to slack around after that and headed home.

One year older... but am I going to be wiser? A few minutes left before the day is over... wanted to thank all those people for reminding me that I'm not ''invisible''. Even such simple words can have such an impact on people. Now I know why the pen is mightier than a sword... I'm don't fancy presents and stuff; ask me what I want and my answer will be nothing.

I've lost my touch with nature and it's been a long time since I'm in tune with mother earth. Maybe it's time to embrace this once again... As a person who doesn't celebrate his birthday, I prefer a more ''low-profile'' thingy than telling around a month before my birthday that my birthday is coming.

To me, gift is just a token and sincerity, but what's more important is the company of friends, '' through good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more..." That's more important than any gifts. Friends that know me since botak to now.

People always see a link between religious and spiritual. Can't a person be spirtual and not religious? To me, they are two different entities. I consider myself spiritual but not religious; not bonded to any rules or regulations of any religion. But I know that one of these days, it will come knocking on my door... For now, let's go with the flow...